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THE STUDIO IN THE COUNTRY, Part 10
DISCLAIMER: The story that follows is a work of fiction. Some characters may be based on real people, but this story should not be considered accurate or truthful representations of any actual person. This story is not intended to reflect the behavior, work habits, personal hygiene, sexual proclivities, or dancing ability of any person, living or dead, since the discovery of air. Nor should it be construed to reflect upon any of the businesses or locations mentioned.
WARNING: This story deals with homosexual themes. If this offends you, read no further. If you are under 18 years of age, read no further. If accessing this story causes you break any laws applicable to your location, read no further. If you're suffering from a vague, mysterious tiredness that just leaves you feeling run-down and easily confused, read no further and get some sleep. And try cutting back on the carbohydrates for a while and see if you feel better.
ILLUSTRATIONS may be seen at michaelwashere.homepage.com by clicking on the smiling Brian.
FEEDBACK: Send any comments, compliments, criticisms or (insert appropriate noun beginning with C here) to michaelwashere@netzero.com.
Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.
THE STUDIO IN THE COUNTRY
Part 10 - Thursday Night
The van was crowded with nine people and their overnight luggage. Most of the guys had packed very little, but AJ had brought almost everything he'd brought with him for a week's stay at our place. "We don't know where we're going," he'd justified it when he'd shown up at the van with his large suitcase. "How am I supposed to know what I'll need to wear if I don't know where I'm going?"
"You're going crazy," Nick had laughed.
"That won't be a very long trip," Howie had added. We'd all laughed when AJ stood for just half a second before sticking out his tongue at them both.
But now we were in the van, heading west into Dallas. Driving west on a sunny afternoon in Texas is just plain stupid. The sun is in your eyes the entire time, and the land is so flat that sunset lasts for hours. Robby was driving, but I was sitting beside him in the navigator's seat, so we both had to face the sun. The rest of the guys were pretty well shaded.
AJ had teased us a little about our "cool shades" when we'd put on our sunglasses, but once we were on the Interstate and the sun hit the windshield they all saw the necessity.
Beside the two seats up front, the van held three rows of seats. Brian and Kevin were sitting on the first one -- Brian behind me. Kevin was turned sideways with his back against the wall of the van. AJ and Stacey were on the seat behind them. The last seat was wider, and Mike, Nick and Howie were there. Most of the overnight bags were under the seats, but AJ's suitcase and some of the larger bags—ncluding the bulging hanging bag that held my, Robby's and Mike's clothes—were behind the last seat.
"What are you doing?" I looked up from my notebook and turned around to see Brian leaning forward and trying to see over my shoulder.
"I'm writing down the chords and such for 'I Need You Tonight'," I told him. "Robby's gonna want me to write out the guitar part for him anyway, so I thought I'd get it on paper while it's still fresh in my mind."
"Let me see." I passed the notebook over to Brian and let him see my bizarre note-taking system. The notebook was spiral bound, but the pages were covered with music ledger lines instead of lines to write on. I'd pencilled the title at the top of the page and broken the ledger lines with vertical lines to mark the measures. I'd noted the chords above the appropriate measure using my own kind of musical shorthand, but there were very few notes drawn in. I'd only drawn notes for the parts that I thought I might have trouble remembering.
Brian shook his head. "I kinda understand it," he said, "but I couldn't play from this." Kevin gestured for Brian to pass the notebook, and Brian did.
I smiled. "It's like my own shorthand. I just write down enough to help me remember the song. If someone else were going to play from it, I'd have to add a lot more notation."
"It's a cool notebook," Brian said. "Where'd you get it?"
"University bookstore," I told him. "They stock them for music majors, but anybody can buy them."
"You studied music?" AJ asked.
"A little. I majored in Creative Writing," I explained, "but Ethan and I took a lot of jazz improv and music theory classes."
"Is this what you got just from listening to the song?" Kevin asked, staring at my notes.
"Yeah, well, I listened to it a few times and tried things until I could play it," I told him.
"Ben's really good at that," Stacey said. "He's got a stack of notebooks full of songs he's figured out."
Kevin had looked at her when she started talking, but then he turned to look at me. His expression was very blank. I never could read Kevin's face, and sometimes it made me a little nervous, not having any idea what he was feeling. I just shrugged. "It's something to do," I said.
"Will you guys settle down?" Howie yelled from the back seat. I noticed Robby glance into the rearview mirror as I—and everyone else—turned to look at Howie. He was at the extreme end of the seat, putting as much space between him and the two younger guys as he could.
"What are they doing?" Brian asked, his voice amused.
At the same time, Nick and Mike said, "Nothing."
While they were looking at each other and laughing, Howie answered, "They're shoving each other back and forth like little kids!"
Nick played the whiny little boy, "Well, Mikey started it!"
"No, Nicky started it! He shoved me first!"
"I did not!" Nick yelled, shoving Mike against the window. They were having a great time, and the look on Howie's face said he thought it was kinda funny too.
Robby laughed. "You kids stop it! I'll turn this van right around: I swear I will!"
"I think your little brother and my little brother are getting along too well," I said to Brian.
"Oh, he's not my little brother," Brian laughed. "I take no responsibility for the way Nick is."
"Anyone want to trade seats?" Howie asked. Six voices said "no" at the same time, which made us all laugh again.
Still laughing, Mike said, "Okay, okay. We'll be good."
I felt the van move toward my side. Kevin looked up sharply, and I turned to look out the front window. Robby had turned onto an exit into Terrell. "Where're we going?" I asked him.
Robby flashed me a grin before looking back at the road. "Yo quiero Taco Bell," he said.
Taco Bell was supposed to be a simple thing. I'd written out a list of what everyone wanted, so we were ready when Robby parked the van. The guys thought it best to stay in the van, so Robby and I volunteered to go in and get the food.
The line was a little crowded. School had let out maybe twenty minutes earlier, so there were a few teenagers and parents with younger children waiting in line. We were almost at the head of the line when Robby touched my arm and indicated the door with his chin. I looked over and saw Mike and Nick coming in.
"What are you guys doing?" I said quietly.
"Going to the restroom," Mike said. Nick was wearing some kind of soft cap and sunglasses. I knew who he was, but no one else seemed to notice anything. They headed into the restroom without incident.
Our order was long, and it took the girl behind the register a couple of minutes to put it in. Robby paid her with the money Brian had given us, while I started filling the drink cups. That's when I noticed the flaw in our plan: Robby could manage the bags of food, but there was no way I could carry eight drinks by myself.
Robby was waiting for the food when Mike and Nick came out of the restroom. "Guys," I got their attention. "Help me carry these." Mike and the hatted Nick came over and took a drink in each hand. Mike and I each tucked a third between our side and our arms, and we were ready.
Robby was still waiting. Behind him, we could see the kitchen people working fast and filling five different bags with food. We could also see the people in line frowning at us. Our order was large enough that we had effectively stopped the line. "We'll take these out," I told Robby, "then I'll come back and help with the food."
The three of us crossed to doors but were unable to open them with our hands full. A girl who looked to be about thirteen stepped out of line and opened the door for us. Nick said "thanks" and smiled as the door opened and a gust of wind took off his floppy hat.
The girl's eyes got wide as she recognized the face behind his smile. She screamed. I'd always heard that fans did that, but I'd never actually seen it for myself. It was amazing: high and screeching and painfully obnoxious to hear. I was actually wondering for a second why her reaction would be to scream, when Mike yelled, "C'mon! Let's get out of here!"
Nick was already out of the door and part of the way to the van when Mike and I finally followed him. Brian had seen Nick running and thrown the van door open. Nick quickly passed the drinks in and climbed inside, while Mike and I hurried to the van, sloshing our drinks a little. Behind me I could hear the girl yelling, "It's Nick Carter! It's Nick Carter!"
"Look!" some other voice yelled. "There's Brian! They're all in that van!"
Mike and I made it to the door without dropping the drinks, though I did slosh a lot of root beer down my left leg. We were both inside and had the door closed before the crowd hit. There were only about five girls, but it was amazing how much noise they were making, slapping their hands against the windows and squealing and yelling the guys' names.
I took my seat and started looking through the crowd for Robby. When I couldn't see him, I said, "Guys, I've got to go in and help Robby. We left him alone in there."
"There he is!" Howie yelled. My eyes followed where he pointed. Robby was making his way along the row of cars, his arms full of bags of food. He'd evidently gone out the other side of the building and come around through the parking lot.
A couple of the squealing girls were now on the other side of the van, yelling and waving at Kevin and AJ. Robby walked right past them to the driver's door. I rolled the window down a bit, and said, "Pass me the food! You'll want your hands empty when I open the door."
The food and Robby made it safely inside. By now the crowd was bigger. Some more people had come out from inside the restaurant and from cars in the drive-through. Now there were maybe twelve or fifteen people—including a few guys—surrounding the van. "Guys," Howie said, "we really should talk to them. It'll be really rude if we just drive off."
"Not to mention somebody's gonna get hurt if we try to drive with them standing around the van," Robby added.
"Let's do it then," AJ said, "and get back on the road."
"I don't know, guys," Brian started, but Kevin interrupted him.
"Howie's right. And the longer we wait, the bigger the crowd will get." The Boys discussed it, then we discussed it. In the end we decided to open the van's sliding door. Robby, Mike and I would stand in front of the opening as a kind of screen, and one Boy at a time would stand just outside the door and say "hello" and shake a few hands.
I was really intimidated by the whole thing, but the Boys were great. Kevin stepped out first and said a few words. He shook hands and very diplomatically ignored questions and pieces of paper thrust at him for autographs. One at a time, the rest followed.
Nick and AJ seemed to get the loudest squeal from the girls. While Brian was shaking hands, a police car pulled into the parking lot. It stopped nearby, and one officer made his way through the crowd toward the van. "What's going on?" he asked.
"We taking this singing group to Dallas," I told him, "but they were recognized when we stopped for food. Can you help us get out of here? The longer we stay, the more people show up."
He smiled but agreed to help. He stood to help the little brothers and me protect the van. Howie was the last one out and he passed out sheets of music staff paper that the guys had signed. Once he was inside, we followed him. The cop was pushing the crowd back so Robby could back the van up slowly. When we pulled out onto the street, the police car pulled up to block the driveway. Whether this was the idea or not, this kept anyone from following us out of town.
"Well," AJ said, once we were on the road again, "that was fun."
"Guys," Robby began, "I'm sorry. If I'd known it was gonna..."
"Don't worry about it," Kevin said. "We never know when that's gonna happen when we go someplace."
"Which ought to make tonight fun," Stacey said. She'd been really nervous about something happening, and she still seemed a little shaken up.
"We just need to stick to places where they don't mind celebrities," AJ told her softly.
"Or places where we won't run into the Anti-Backstreet Boy Brigade," Brian added quietly, with something of a bitter tone. No one commented, but I guessed there was a story there.
Howie said, "Ben, I hope you don't mind us using your notebook."
"No problem," I said. "It was a nice idea."
"Ben," Nick said, "do you think you could say 'no problem' less?" He made it sound serious, but he was smiling at me.
I looked at him and said, "Yeah. No problem."
"Shut up and pass out the food!" Mike said. His idea met with a lot of approval. The food was cold now, and the drinks were long since finished, but everyone was still hungry. I passed the food out to everyone but Kevin, who hadn't wanted anything.
"Be careful, guys," Brian said after the contents of his taco had nearly fallen into his lap. "This stuff is hard to eat."
"Yeah, be careful," AJ said. Then he added with a Mexican accent, "Don't drop the chalupa!"
"What are we gonna do tonight?" Nick asked a few minutes later.
"Yeah, you guys live here," Brian said. "What do you recommend?"
"Ask Stacey," Robby said. "She spends more time in Dallas than any of us do."
Most of the guys looked at Stacey. "Tell me what you want to do, and I'll tell you the place to go," she said. There was some talk of shopping, but we decided to save that until tomorrow, when the teenagers would be at school. A couple of people wanted to see a movie, but most people wanted to hit a club and dance.
Stacey thought about it for a second. "Well, there's a few places we could go. Not as many as there used to be, though. The best dancing's probably at the Village Station, but it would be bad for your image for the Backstreet Boys to be seen at a gay dance club."
There was a little laughing and shaking of heads. In the back seat, Howie said, "Been there, done than, suffered the consequences."
I barely heard him though. Stacey talked over him when she said, "Sorry, Ben. No offense." She sounded really sorry. Ever since I'd come out to her, Stacey had had a hard time figuring out what would offend me and what wouldn't.
I laughed a little. "None taken," I said. Then I caught a slightly confused expression on Kevin's face.
"Offense at what?" he asked us quietly, glancing between me and Stacey.
"Kevin, I'm gay," I told him.
"You're gay?" he asked. Why do people always ask me twice, I thought.
I nodded. Kevin looked around the van. When he saw that this wasn't news to very many people, he asked, "How many of you knew that already?" Everyone raised a hand—even AJ, which confused me.
"AJ, how did you know?" I asked him.
"Well, you have to be," AJ exclaimed. He grinned and went on. "How else could you resist Stacy?" He got a kiss on the cheek from Stacey. I just got more frowning from Kevin.
We hit downtown about 4:30. Traffic was close to impossible but not quite there yet. It took us a while to get to the Anatole. We sat in the van, while Robby and Kevin—both wearing dark sunglasses—went in to confirm the reservation and get out keys. I was supposed to have gone with Kevin, but with the root beer stain down my pants I decided to stay put.
There was a bit of general conversation in the back. Brian was looking at me. When he saw that I'd noticed, he leaned up and said quietly, "Don't let Kevin get to you. He's really open-minded. He's just weirded out because of me."
I smiled at him and said, "Thanks." I had been a little worried when Kevin had frowned so hard at me earlier, but maybe it was nothing. After all, Kevin was really hard for me to read.
"What are you two whispering about?" Nick yelled at us from the backseat.
I straightened up to look over Brian's head at him. "We're wondering about the sleeping arrangements!"
"Yeah," Brian embellished, "we're wondering who gets to sleep with Snoring Nick." He winked at me before turning to look at Nick.
"And who gets to sleep with Brian "My feet do not smell" Littrell," Nick replied. Howie and AJ laughed.
"Well, they don't," Brian whined, which made everyone laugh again.
Howie laughed. "Let's how many beds we have first. Maybe no one has to sleep with anyone."
"Speak for yourself," AJ said, putting his arm around Stacey. At almost the same time, Nick said, "Aw, you're no fun."
"Five," Stacey said. When she saw that she'd confused the guys, she explained: "There are five beds: a three-bedroom suite with one king-sized bed and two pairs of queen-sized beds. I made the reservations, remember?"
"I get the king-sized bed," Nick yelled.
"No, you don't," Stacey told him while smiling at AJ. "I do. I made the reservations, remember?" AJ just smiled back.
"That sounds like everyone will be sharing with someone," Mike said.
"I tried to get more room than that," Stacy said, "but they were packed. In short notice, I could only get the one suite."
"Maybe there's a convention in town," Brian said thoughtfully.
I smiled at the back of his head. "Yeah, the Anti-Backstreet Boy Brigade is in town and staying at this very hotel. Won't that be fun?" Brian turned quickly and, when he saw me smiling, smiled back.
I jumped a little when the door came flying open, but it was just Robby with Kevin and a porter standing behind him. "Let's go, guys," Robby said, waving key cards at us. "Our rooms are waiting upstairs."
We all climbed out of the van. The guys stretched while the porter put our luggage onto his cart. I put my notebook back into my leather backpack. The porter offered to take it, but I told him I'd carry it. Howie grinned at me and whispered, "You're kinda protective of that notebook, aren't you?"
I smiled back. "Not really. I'm hiding the root beer stain with this bag."
The rooms were great. Our suite faced east, so we could see most of the city from our windows. Stacey looked down from the windows in the living room. Looking at the streets and buildings across the Interstate, she said, "There's Oak Lawn."
"What's Oak Lawn?" Howie asked, stepping up to the window.
"The 'gay' part of town," she told him. "It's fun, but I wouldn't wander over there if I were you. You're probably way too popular down there."
"Well, the attention would be good for my ego," Howie said smiling.
"But hard on your ass," AJ countered, stepping up and wrapping his arms around Stacey.
Stacey and AJ took the big bedroom. Mike and Nick volunteered to share one of the beds in one room. I glanced over at Robby. He was glancing back, then he said, "Ben and I will take the other one."
Brian opened his mouth to say something, but Kevin said first, "Brian and I will share one bed."
"So that leaves Howie with a bed to himself," Stacey said. She sounded like she thought he was the lucky one, but he aped a really tragic expression.
"Sleeping alone," he whined. "The story of my life."
"Enough of this," Kevin said. "Let's get dressed and get some dinner. I'm starving."
"C'mon," Brian said. "It's not even six o'clock yet. Let's chill for a while before we eat."
"Yeah, Kevin," AJ said. "You should have eaten when we did."
"Taco Bell food is not very good for you," Kevin countered. "I'm gonna get a sandwich from room service then." He stepped over to Nick who was flipping through the hotel directory.
"Hey, there's a jacuzzi in the health club!" Nick said. "I'm gonna go soak for a while."
"That sounds like fun," Stacey said, looking up at AJ.
"I'm coming too," Mike said.
Brian flopped on the couch and grabbed the remote for the television. Robby grabbed the easy chair, and Mike sat on the floor facing the television.
"I'm gonna have a nap," Howie said, heading for his room with his luggage. That sounded like a good idea to me. In the other bedroom, I changed into a pair of shorts and flopped onto the bed for a nap.
The next thing I knew someone was shaking me and saying, "Benji, wake up." I opened by eyes slowly and saw Brian grinning down at me.
"Since when do you call me 'Benji'?" I asked him sleepily.
"I heard your brothers call you that, and I thought it was cute."
I rolled over and curled my knees up to my chest. I mumbled, "It's not. They only call me that when they want something."
"Well, I want you to get up," he replied. "So, c'mon, Benji. We made reservations for dinner; we're all getting dressed."
Nine people getting dressed up with two bathrooms is not fun. Kevin was shaving at the sink in our bathroom while Brian grabbed a shower. Nick, Mike, Robby, Howie and I were sitting around the living room waiting for our turn. AJ and Stacey were done first, so Stacey came out into the living room and told us that we could use their bathroom now. There was a mad dash for the door: Nick got there first, and promised to hurry.
Waiting again, Robby took the time to notice how Stacey looked. She had her hair up and was wearing a tight, black dress that stopped about halfway down her thighs. "Whoa, girl," he said, "you look really good. Why don't you come to work looking like that?"
She smiled at him as she put on an earring. "Careful, Robby. Don't drool too much, or I'll have to tell Melissa that you were undressing me with your eyes."
"Not that that would take very long," Robby said, looking at the short dress again. "It's too bad Melissa's not here. She'd love partying with the Backstreet Boys."
"Who's Melissa?" Howie asked.
"My girlfriend," Robby said. "She going to college in Austin, so I don't see her as often as I'd like."
"Yeah," Mike added, "Ethan sees her more often than Robby does."
"When is Ethan supposed to get here this weekend?" I asked Mike as I thumbed through the channels, vainly looking for something to watch.
"I don't know," Mike said. "He called this afternoon, but Mom talked to him."
"He'll probably come up Saturday, like usual," Robby said. Robby and Ethan were really close. Ethan didn't like to talk, but whenever he needed to confide in someone, it was always Robby.
Eventually, everyone was dressed and ready. Kevin had called the limo service once he was out of the bathroom. The phone had rung about forty-five minutes later, while Mike—the last of us to get a shower—was getting dressed. Howie answered the phone and announced that the limo was waiting downstairs. We hurried Mike along and headed down about ten minutes later.
The limo dropped us off at the Fog City Diner, and we headed right in. We were a little late for our reservation, but the maitre'd showed us to our table right away.
I didn't like the room. The walls were all glass, and the restaurant sat on a busy street. Anyone who walked past could look in and see us. Showing off celebrities was good business for the restaurant, but not so good for the privacy of their patrons. I was afraid there might be another crowd scene, but nothing happened during or after the meal. I guess the wealthy who eat in the neighborhood were too blasé to be bothered with causing a scene.
Now if only the dance club would be as trouble-free.
Getting into the Lizard Lounge was easy. The limo took us right to the door, where the bouncers let us right in. Stacey had called ahead to let them know we were coming, so they were ready for us. Inside, a cute girl stood ready to escort us our table.
As is to be expected, you notice the dance floor first. It sits in the center of the main room with everything else arranged around it. Even if you couldn't see it so clearly, there would be no way to not hear it: the music was just loud enough to make conversation really uncomfortable but not absolutely impossible. A narrow strip crowded with tables went in a U-shape around the dance floor. Along the two longest walls, behind the tables, were two bars.
She did a quick count of the people and frowned. "This is our largest table, but there are only eight chairs. I'll get you one more."
"Don't bother," AJ told her as he grabbed Stacey's hand. "As long as at least one of us is dancing all the time, we'll be just fine."
The girl smiled. "Well, my name is Steffie. If you need anything, just wave at the bar there, and I'll be right over." She pointed to indicate the section of bar nearest our table. Leaning in, she added, "This door behind me will take you to the rear entrance. I'll unlock it for you: if there's any kind of crowd problem, slip through and lock it behind you. I'll get your car to pick you up in the back."
Several people thanked her. While she was unlocking the door, we discussed what to do. Howie, Kevin and I sat down at the table, but the others headed toward the dance floor. Before they got away, Kevin caught Nick's arm, pulled him in close, and said something into his ear. Kevin wasn't whispering, but the music made it impossible to hear what he'd said.
"You don't dance?" Brian yelled at me to be heard over the music. We'd been there for maybe half an hour. The guys had come back to the table in small groups, only to order drinks, sit for a while, and take off again. Right now, Brian, Mike and I were at the table, which was covered with glasses. No one was drinking a lot, but nine people can make a real mess.
"Not much," I told him. "I like dancing, but I hate music this loud."
Brian nodded. "It makes it hard to talk, hard to get to know somebody." Mike had been looking at the dance floor, but when he heard this he turned to look at Brian before grinning at me.
"What was that about?" Brian asked me while indicated Mike with his chin.
"Nothing," I said.
"I was just thinking what a cute couple you two would be," Mike said, his grin breaking into a smile.
"Any couple that had me in it would be cute," I said smugly. "But stop trying to play matchmaker, Mikey. Brian and I are friends."
"Whatever," Mike said. "I'm gonna dance some more." He got up and disappeared into the crowd.
"You should go dance, too," I told Brian. "You keep drumming on the table and dancing in your chair. I know you want to be out there."
"I'm not gonna let you sit here alone," Brian said. Instead of going to dance, he waved at Steffie and ordered more another drink when she came over.
I leaned over to Brian and yelled, "Do you wonder what people are thinking about this?"
He looked confused. "What do you mean?" he yelled back.
"People know you guys are here," I said leaning over to talk directly into his ear. "I've been watching them stare and point since we got here."
"So?"
"So if the Backstreet Boys are out dancing, they might think that four of you brought dates. And only one of those dates is a girl."
He looked worried for a second. Then he said, "In that case, I am going to go dance. You don't mind sitting here alone." I shook my head to avoid having to yell anymore.
Over the next three hours, everyone sat and drank, then got up and danced—we all went back and forth. There weren't many meaningful conversations, but that's not what people go to a dance club for anyway.
Kevin spent most of the time dancing. I saw him a few times dancing with different girls. Once there were three girls dancing around him, and it was impossible to tell which one he was dancing with—maybe all of them. But he definitely looked more relaxed than he had since Monday. All this dancing must have been just what he needed.
Stacey and AJ spent a lot of time on the dance floor. Girls would come up to him and dance. He would usually smile at them, then go back to dancing with Stacey. Stacey just smiled all the time.
Of the rest of us, I probably spent the most time at the table, but I did my share of dancing, too. The music was great here, and I made a note to get the address of this place so I could come here again.
I tried to keep track of where the guys were. Our table had a good view of the dance floor, so they were easy to spot if they were dancing. Once, I hadn't seen Nick for a while, so I went looking for him. I found him near the restrooms. He'd been cornered by some short, skinny, bald-headed guy, who was yelling at him about something. When I got closer, I saw that this was actually a bald-headed girl in men's clothing. She had a pierced eyebrow and was waving her finger in Nick's face while she yelled at him.
Nick saw me and gave me a "help me" expression. I walked up, grabbed his arm, and did some yelling of my own. "Nick, here you are! You know you're not supposed to be out in public! If the doctors find out, they'll slap you back in quarantine again!"
Nick caught on pretty quickly. "I won't stay in quarantine!" he yelled, pretending to really lose his temper. "I don't care who catches it!"
The girl looked confused for a second, and we made our escape. "Come on," I said as I dragged him away. "Let's get out of here before the public health people find you."
"What was that all about?" I yelled at him once we were about fifty feet from the girl.
"That was Andy. She's a lesbian, and she hates the Backstreet Boys," Nick yelled back. "I know that because she kept saying that over and over again. She was trying to explain why she hated us, but she was too drunk to make any sense."
"I'm glad you caught on about the quarantine thing," I said. "I saw that in an old movie."
"Too bad it was a lie," Nick yelled back. "Now I wish I had something she could catch." We were still laughing when we got back to the table.
"What's so funny?" Brian asked.
"We'll tell you later," Nick said between laughs. He sat down and went to work on his drink. Or it might have been someone else's—the table was pretty crowded with glasses.
We were still at the table with Robby, Mike and Howie a few minutes later when the others walked up. Glancing around, I saw that everyone was sweaty and tired, but they were smiling and relaxed. "Who's ready to head to the hotel?" Kevin asked. Everyone was, so we waved Steffie over. AJ took care of the tab, while Kevin called the limo from his cell phone. Then we made our way outside and climbed into the car.
"So," Brian said, once the limo was underway, "what was so funny?"
"I ran into one the Anti-Backstreet Boy Brigade," Nick said. "A bald lesbian named Andy, who wanted to tell me what was so horrible about us but couldn't because she was drunk."
Brian had that confused look again. That expression got cuter every time I saw it. "Why was that funny?"
Nick and I laughed. "Ben convinced her that I had escaped from some hospital quarantine," Nick explained. "She thought she might catch a disease from me and I got away."
Most of the guys laughed. "Well, I'm glad you got away so easy," Howie said. "Remember that fat guy in Miami who was convinced that we lip-sync everything."
"Or those three gay guys in Kansas City," AJ said. The Boys nodded. Seeing that four of us didn't know what he was talking about, AJ told the story. "We were in Kansas City with a night off. We wanted to go dancing—just like tonight—but everyone said that the best dancing was at this gay club."
"Louie's," Howie provided a detail.
"Yeah, Louie's," AJ went on. "Anyway, Kevin and I got cornered at our table by three gay guys. These guys were convinced that we were all gay, and they wanted us to come out and be role models for young gay guys everywhere."
"You should have heard Kevin," Brian added. "He handled them great. When I got back to the table, Kevin had convinced them that they were wrong about us and actually got them to apologize and buy us drinks."
"Only I didn't get one 'cause I was underage," Nick pouted quietly.
"You still are, so shut up," Mike teased him.
I was thinking that it was ironic that Kevin and AJ were the ones that got accused. I wanted to say as much, but I didn't. I didn't know how much everyone in the car knew about everyone else. Sometimes I hate being the one people confide in. It's flattering but frustrating sometimes.
"That sounds like Ben," Stacey said. "He always talks his way out of situations. He never loses his temper."
"Yeah, well, Ben doesn't show many feelings of any kind," Robby said. Immediately after saying it, he smiled at me, trying to make it seem like a joke. I knew better. Robby was always accusing me of thinking too much and not feeling anything. And, though I like how outspoken Robby could be, his timing was sometimes pretty crappy.
There was a pause in the conversation. Stacey broke it by saying, "I didn't see and cameras go off. So I guess I won't see my picture in the paper as the mysterious date of a Backstreet Boy." She smiled at AJ, who hugged her a little closer.
"Sorry, babe," he said. "I'll try to arrange for more paparazzi next time."
"And what if they think I'm your date?" Robby grinned at Howie.
"Let 'em," Howie said. "It won't be the worst thing they've ever said about me."
"We're covered," Mike said. "I told everyone we were Nick's cousins from Fort Worth." He smiled big obviously pleased with his lie. Actually, I thought, it's a pretty good one.
Back at the Anatole, we piled out of the limo and went into the lobby. It was almost 2am, so the place was pretty deserted. The nine of us packed into one elevator and headed up to the suite.
Once we reached our floor, Robby held me back near the elevator. As the others got ahead of us down the hallway, he said quietly, "About what I said in the car..."
"Don't worry about it," I told him. "We've had this conversation before. I just wish you hadn't brought it up here and now."
"I shouldn't have," he said. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and started him walking toward the room. "Don't worry about it," I said again. "At least if I don't have feelings, you can't have hurt them." He looked up at me to see if I were kidding. I was smiling back at him when he did.
"Man, I am so tired!" Nick said, as he stumbled into the dark suite. Mike was behind him, and he threw the light switch.
"So am I," Stacey said. "I've never danced so much in my life."
"And you looked really good doing it," AJ said. She put her arms around his neck and gave him a quick kiss.
"Get a room," Kevin laughed.
"Got one," AJ grinned. "And we're heading there now. G'night, guys." We all said our good nights as they headed into their bedroom.
"We did dance a lot," Mike said. "You guys are hard to keep up with. I'm worn out."
"Well, we do this for a living," Howie said. "It keeps you in shape."
"But we still get tired," Nick said. "I'm going to bed too." He said his good nights and headed into our room.
By now, Robby had made a beeline into the bathroom and I had flopped onto the couch. Brian sat heavily in the chair and turned on the television. He was flipping through the channels when Howie said, "Kev, when do we have to be out of here in the morning."
"Noon," Kevin said, "so I say we sleep until about 10." He said it like a question, but when he got no kind of reply, he picked up the phone and requested a wake-up call.
Mike made a noisy yawn. Howie, Brian and I stared at him, and he blushed a little. "I guess I should go to bed too." Standing, he added, "G'night, guys."
The Boys said "goodnight" while I was saying, "G'night, Baby Brother."
"Don't let Nick snore," Brian yelled as Mike was closing the bedroom door.
"Or molest you in your sleep," Howie laughed. Howie grabbed a bottle of water from the mini-fridge and headed to the opposite end of the couch. I moved my feet so he could sit down.
Behind me, I heard Kevin put the phone down. "Well, I'm going to bed too," he said. "You coming, cuz?" he asked Brian.
"Nah, I think I'm gonna stay up for a little while. Kinda wind down a little."
There was a short pause before Kevin said, "Well, goodnight, guys." We said "goodnight" to him, then I heard his door close.
The room was dark and quiet now. I'd got up a couple of minutes ago to get a bottle of water from the fridge. Brian had asked me to get him one, and Howie had asked me to turn the lights off. Now I was back on the couch, Howie sitting at the other end. The only light was the flickering blue-grey that came from the television and what light came through the window from the city below.
Brian was still flipping through the channels, but we found nothing worth watching. Bored, he tossed the remote down but left the set on to give us some light.
"This is silly," Brian said sleepily. "I should go to bed, but I don't want to."
"I know," Howie yawned. "Me too."
I looked at Howie and said, "Don't yawn. I always yawn when I see somebody else..." I interrupted myself to yawn. The guys laughed.
"Are you always so suggestible?" Howie asked.
"Oh, no," I said. "Usually, I'm really stubborn. If someone tries to get me to do something, I refuse—even if I wanted to do it in the first place."
"Ah," Brian said, "control freak, huh?" He gave Howie a knowing smile. "We know something about control freaks, don't we, D?"
"Yeah." Howie smiled.
"Let me guess," I began. "Kevin?"
They smiled again. "Good guess," Brian said. "Don't get me wrong. Kevin's okay. But he does like to give orders sometimes."
"To be fair, though," Howie added, "he does keep us organized, which is quite a job sometimes. We put a lot of pressure on him, but he handles it pretty well."
"Are you and Kevin going to be okay?" I asked Brian. "It's pretty obvious he's unhappy about your decision."
"It's not a decision," Brian said, looking at me. "It's who I am. A good friend helped me figure that out last night." I felt warm, and I smiled back at him. "But Kevin's gonna be okay," Brian continued. "He was okay with Howie and Nick. He'll be okay with me eventually. I think he'd just still surprised."
"Well, I'd offer to help somehow," I said slowly, "but I don't think I'm real high on Kevin's list right now."
"Don't read too much into anything," Howie said. "Kevin's really hard to figure out sometimes. And he has no reason to hold anything against you."
"Yeah, on Monday he kept talking about what a cool guy you are," Brian added as he picked up the remote again and started flipping around the channels. "I want him to hear you play."
This comment seemed out of place. "Why?" I asked.
"Because you're good," Brian said. "If you want to play professionally, we can help you get started, help you meet people." Brian was looking at me seriously now. I looked over at Howie and found him nodding in agreement.
"Kevin's the best businessman of all of us," Howie said. "He could really help you out if you want."
I didn't know what to say. I loved playing the keyboards, taking people's songs apart. I'd even played at writing songs now and then, but they weren't very impressive. I'd had better luck at college, when Ethan and I wrote songs together, but Ethan had lost interest. He never stayed interested in anything for very long.
But that had always been just a hobby. I'd never really given serious thought to being a professional musician because the job seemed like more pressure than it was worth. Now I was lying here, talking to two professional singers who were offering to help me get started. I didn't know what to say. Hell, I didn't know what to think.
"Oo, look!" Brian was pointing at the television. I looked over and saw what looked like a small band playing on a stage in a dingy bar. They looked familiar, but it took a second for me to recognize it as a movie.
"Buckaroo Banzai!" I said.
"You've seen this?" Brian asked. "I thought no one ever watched this."
"It's great," I said. "I love it."
"Let's watch it," he said.
"You guys watch it," Howie said, standing. "I'm going to bed."
"You should stay and watch this, D," Brian said. "It's great."
"I've seen it," Howie said, setting his empty water bottle onto the end table. "That's why I'm going to bed. G'night, guys." We said "goodnight" to Howie, and he let himself quietly into the room Kevin was already sleeping in.
I took my socks and shoes off and stretched out again. The bar scene was only about fifteen minutes into the movie, so we hadn't missed much of it. After maybe half an hour, I noticed that Brian was shifting around in his chair, changing position a lot. "Uncomfortable?" I asked him.
"Yeah, I guess," he said. "Can we share the couch?"
"Sure," I said. I noticed my voice sounded more eager than I'd thought it would. "After all, I let Mike sleep on me last night."
"But he's your brother," Brian said, sounding a little unsure.
"And you're my friend," I told him. "We're just gonna lie here, not fool around."
Brian sat where he was for another second or two, then he jumped up a little abruptly and came over to the couch. I shifted onto my side, my back against the back of the couch, and he lay down in with his back against my chest. His head was a little further down so that I could still see the television.
"Mm. It's warm here," he said.
I felt my brow wrinkle. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" I asked him quietly.
"Like you said, we're just gonna lie here and watch a movie."
For maybe twenty minutes, that's exactly what we did. Then, during a commercial for some kind of lame 70s compilation album, Brian said, "This is going to be hard, isn't it?"
"What is?"
"My being gay," he replied. "It was hard enough finding a girlfriend when I was travelling all the time. Finding a boyfriend will be even harder, especially when I can't tell anyone I'm gay."
I thought about what he was saying. "It is going to be hard," I told him. "And I'm not sure a regular boyfriend is what you need right now."
I couldn't see his face, but I sensed his confused reaction. "Whaddya mean?" he asked.
"Well, most guys, when they first come out, don't become half of a couple right away," I explained. "Instead they just take time to get used to the idea. They make friends and keep sex really casual. Then, after the casualness of it gets boring, they find a boyfriend and become a couple. It's like they're playing around, keeping everything uncomplicated. Y'know, like kids do in elementary school, when they say they're 'going with' somebody different every week."
"Is that what you did?" he asked me. The movie was back on, but we weren't listening to it.
"A little bit," I told him. "In college, I spent a couple of years getting to know gay guys. We'd go to parties or fool around a little, but it was never serious. I never really wanted it to be," I said. "I mean, we were always careful—you can't be too careful now days—but it was casual, no big emotional ties."
As I was describing it, it occurred to me how superficial the whole thing sounded, but it hadn't felt that way at the time: it had just felt easy and uncomplicated. "I always thought it was practice," I went on, "for when I felt ready for a real relationship."
There was a pause. I could almost hear Brian thinking. Finally, he asked, "So, you've had a lot of experience."
I thought again. "Not a lot of sexual experience. I've had sex with four or five guys, but they were all good friends. No one-night stands or drunken screwing around after a party—none of that. Mostly I'd just curl up with a guy and go to sleep."
"Like we're doing?"
I smiled. "Are we going to sleep?"
"Why not?" Brian asked. He shifted around on the couch, getting more comfortable. "This feels good. Why don't we just sleep here?"
I raised up just enough to pull a throw pillow under my head to be more comfortable. Settling my head into it, I said, "Sounds good to me."
We were mostly quiet for the rest of the movie. When it was over, Brian was already asleep. I turned off the television and closed my eyes.
At some point in the night, I woke up. At first, there was the vague disorientation of awaking in a strange place before I remembered where I was. The room was quiet enough that I could hear the blowing of the air conditioner and the hum of the fridge. Somewhere, behind some door, one of the guys was snoring.
The light through the window was very dim, but I could make out that everything was just as I'd last seen it. I was lying on the sofa, and Brian was lying in front of me, the top of his head inches below my chin. My lelft arm was doubled over against my chest, but my right arm was wrapped around Brian.
I settled my head back against the pillow and closed my eyes to sleep. I wasn't quite asleep when I heard someone come quietly into the room. I didn't say anything, assuming one of the guys was headed for the mini-fridge and trying not to wake us.
In the quiet, I heard a low whisper. "Look at them," it said. It was too soft, too airy for me to recognize the voice, but the tone of disapproval was pretty thick.
After a few seconds, another voice whispered, "I know." This voice was too quiet to recognize either, but it was friendlier, calmer and not so disapproving. "And I know that Brian has seemed happier today than he's been in a long time."
The first voice didn't say anything, just exhaled strongly.
"Kev," the second voice went on, "I know you don't like this, but Brian needs this. He's dealing with things that he's needed to deal with for a long time. Just wait: let him work this out."
There was another exhalation and the sound of feet padding across the carpet. A door closed quietly, followed a few seconds by the sounds of a door opening and closing. I couldn't really tell which doors were involved—it may even have been the same door twice—so I couldn't guess who the second voice was.
I did know that Kevin was one of them and that he didn't like Brian and I sleeping together on the couch. But I wished that I knew whether he didn't approve of what Brian was doing or whether he didn't like Brian being with me.
And I wanted to know who was pulling for Brian.
I looked down at my sleeping friend again. Right then, I knew that I didn't want anythi—anyone—to hurt him. Whatever happened, he was my friend and I didn't want him hurt. I stroked his hair softly and went back to sleep.
So, there it is. I hope it was worth the wait.
THANKS to all the people who sent me email with compliments, suggestions or information. Look for Part 11 next week.